It's Not What You Say Mastering the Art of Powerful Communication by Bill Cakmis (Copyright 2001 by Bill Cakmis Media Advisors International and Talent Dynamics All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form, by any means, including mechanical, electronic, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without the prior written permission of the author and publishers. Chapter 1 BLACK-BELT COMMUNICATORS "The trick in our world is to make it look easy... to make it look natural." -- Dick Clark   It is always a bit unsettling to see an anchor cry during a coaching session. Even though anchors and reporters usually take the frank conversations about their work to heart, they are usually fairly objective concerning the matter. Objectivity is, after all, something they've been trained for. On the other hand, a coaching session will sometimes delve into personal matters when the communicator needs to break free of a psychological problem restricting him from further growth and development. For example, an anchor I recently worked with happened to be amiable, witty and full of charm... in person. On the air, she was stiff and pedantic. Her presentation and delivery had energy but no life. As I broached the subject, her first reaction was defensive. As we got into it, I found she actually had issues with family and friends that caused a certain amount of detachment on the air. Apparently, when she began her career, these "supportive" people in her life didn't believe she had it in her to be a serious journalist. Their collective wisdom convinced her that she was much too pretty, much too blond and certainly not smart enough. To combat these criticisms, she ran as far away from herself as possible. She dyed her hair, wore drab colors and, over time, her on-air performance became an idea of what she thought the ideal anchor was supposed to look like and sound like. What started out as an exciting career that seemed to fit her spirited sensibilities and talents became an arduous daily task of pleasing others whom she secretly resented. As she recounted her story and came to this realization, emotion welled and her tears began to flow. At that moment, while she wept, I asked her to read a news story from the scripts that sat in front of her. What happened next was wonderful. With her defenses down and no one to please but herself she read to me with her own voice, her own inflections, her own facial expressions and her own emotions. For the first time in a long time she was actually telling someone a story. And actually enjoying it. And her delivery was fascinating. Since then she has moved to a bigger station in a bigger market and is doing beautifully. A few weeks ago I received videotape from her of a recent newscast along with a note. It read: Dear Bill, I wanted you to see the real me really telling stories. It's so much easier when you believe in yourself! Who knew hard news could be so much fun?       Sincerely, (the real) Jennifer   DICK CLARK & THE LION As "Jennifer" (in the above story) realized, to begin that first step down the path toward Mastery a person must first embrace the concept that at the core of every being lays an integrity and truth. And that honesty is one of the most powerful tools a communicator can wield. The person who can tap into those elements and consistently use them as a foundation for his craft is a formidable communicator indeed. One such master and a prime example of this philosophy in action is Dick Clark. A major force in bringing rock-and-roll to television in the 1950's as host of "American Bandstand," Mr. Clark's unpretentious and approachable style has bridged generation gaps for forty years, making the name "Dick Clark" synonymous with the notion of perpetual youth. Recently we had a conversation in which Mr. Clark expressed his personal convictions on the subject of fascinating communication: Dick Clark: I learned a long time ago that if you are going to reach the other person you must treat him as an ordinary human being, whether he is terribly wealthy or a criminal or a famous person. Whatever he is wrapped in doesn't mean anything once you get past the outer layer of the person. I learned that as a twenty-seven year old kid in television. I had a rather sadistic boss at one of the networks that seated me next to Henry J. Kaiser (one of the wealthiest men in the world) at a dinner party. I was sure he had seated me there just to see what the hell would happen to me because "Bandstand" was very hot. And Mr. Kaiser and I had very little in common. We sat down next to one another at this formal dinner; I'm a Rock and Roll disk jockey for a television show with kids dancing, and here he was a financial kingpin. We didn't have a great deal to talk about. Then I noticed that he kept picking at his thumb. I said to him, "Mr. Kaiser, what seems to be the problem with your thumb?" He said, "Oh, this damn thing. I got slivers in it while I was doing things around the house." I asked if I could take a look at it. I always carry a small pocket Swiss army knife that has all kinds of little doodads on it. I asked him if he would mind if I took a shot at his thumb. He said that he didn't mind and to go ahead. I took the little knife and got the sliver out. After that it was "Androcles and the Lion." We were the best of buddies the rest of the night. You would do that for a four year old. You would do it for an ancient person. You would do it for your mother, your dad, or an aunt or uncle. He appreciated it because he was usually treated all the time as if he was untouchable. So we had a great night! So at the heart of it, Mr. Clark tells us that a good communicator touches a responsive cord in what people are interested in. He reaches out to them as a real person so that they will listen and communicate back to him in the same fashion. Dick Clark: Years ago when I was an ugly, skinny, pimple ridden and introverted teenager, my mother taught me this lesson: "It doesn't matter what you look like. People don't judge you by what you appear to be or your outward self. They want to know how you think about them as people. Always turn it over to the other person and you will always be in a winning position." And how does that translate in the world of television's most famous show host? Dick Clark: The trick in our world is to make it look easy. To make it look natural. Regardless of the most pressure filled or hurried or god-awful situation you may find yourself in, you want that audience to say to themselves that, "Nothing will go wrong here. Good ol' Bob or Dick or whoever is going to get me through this. I'm in good hands." That must be part of the host's communicative abilities.   FAUX-BELT MASTERS Every year, thousands of Americans go through "testings" in Karate dojos across the country to receive colored belt upgrades. Each colored belt signifies a proficiency level, with the Black Belt (and all its degrees) representing the best or highest rank one can obtain. Seemingly, once martial-arts students have hit Black Belt status, they have reached the high end of the line. Nirvana. Masters of the Universe. This system seems fairly logical, right? I once asked a Korean Tae Kwon Do sensei why the colored belt system was not consistent in all dojos. That, in fact, any one color might very well represent a different level of proficiency depending on the dojo or the martial arts discipline one belongs to. I inquired, "Isn't that confusing? Doesn't Korea put out some kind of official colored-belt reference book?" (Korea, by the way, is where many of the martial arts, such as Tae Kwon Do, originated.) "I mean, how am I supposed to tell who I can beat up and who I should avoid at parties?" Well, the sensei just smiled wryly and whispered into my ear, "The only thing we use colored belts for in Korea is to hold up our pants." He went on to explain that, just as Italian pizza was really perfected right here in the good 'ol USA, the martial arts colored-belt hoopla is actually a Western ritual created to satisfy the American's need to validate their accomplishments. Eastern cultures look at self-development as a life-long process. And a true master, in any field, knows that Mastery is a journey, not a destination. In this country however, the MTV attitude of, "I want it fast and I want it now," has been indelibly printed on our collective DNA. Never mind quality. The ability to acquire quickly and the need to then show-and-tell has become a measure of our self-worth. Dick Clark encapsulates this cultural phenomenon by comparing his Bandstand audience with today's television viewers: Dick Clark: Forty years ago when Bandstand first started it was a musical film show that quickly evolved into human beings live in front of the camera, which was a little more fun. By the time we reached the end of the line television changed. The mindset and the attention span of the average young viewer had shrunk to a few moments. You can't put on an hour and a half of kids dancing to records and hope to maintain their interest any longer. Our time came and went. Today we do everything with the idea that we have got to hold on to them or that we had better promise them something in ten minutes from now so that they will at least stay with us for awhile. It is a frightening social disease we've given everybody. We don't dwell on things very long anymore. This national compulsion for instant gratification isn't focused exclusively on television. It has permeated our way of life, driving us to substitute four-star Epicurean delights with fast-food fare, replace in-depth news reports with pithy sound-bites, manufacture frivolous law-suits faster than bees regurgitating honey and, in our society's intercourse, supplant the world's greatest literature with T-shirt maxims such as He Who Dies With The Most Toys Wins and I'm With Stupid. This "social disease" has turned the idea of Mastery as a life-long journey into a colored belt that can be won in the nearest dojo. The second step down the path toward Mastery is the real understanding that instant gratification, however enjoyable, is ultimately fleeting. Masters in all fields know that as they succeed in their daily endeavors, there must also be an ongoing process of development and preparation to maintain a consistency of quality and style in their work. Dick Clark: Part of the problem with some talk shows is that people don't prepare enough. There is a well-known talker right now who is very successful who prides himself on not preparing. Anybody who wants to be critical would say that he would have been a lot better off if he had read the damn book. For Golden Globe Awards show I interview the winners backstage. Say there were eighty possible winners. Then there were eighty personalities that I had notes on. I read all their biographies and I had seen all the primary nominated shows that I thought I would have to deal with. So I knew what their work was. That takes a few weeks of preparation. You come over-prepared in case they are going to run dry. You don't want to be staring and say, "And where do you go next?" That is the worst thing you can ask anybody. Or, "Did you like the show?" Those are fallback questions that desperate amateurs use. Usually, if I listen to what they had to say right before we went on the air, or during the course of the on-air conversation, it leads you off in a whole different direction that you never thought you were going to get to. Which brings us to something else about good communication... always listen! So preparation is key in the process a great communicator uses which allows the audience access to his integrity and truth. Preparation strengthens consistency of quality and style as well as the communicator's ability to listen. Any preparation requires an investment of time. The Master's preparation is a life-long process of learning and practice.   BAROMETERS Most professionals can point to tangible manifestations of their talents. Scientists have formulas, theorems and inventions as measures of achievement. The architect's genius can be evidenced by his creations of beautiful and timeless structures. The gourmet chef produces four-star meals, award winning deserts and holiday cookbooks. Mechanics, farmers, builders and plumbers can all point to concrete evidence of their success. But what does the communicator have as a barometer of self-worth? In terms of success or failure, professional communicators can only point to themselves. Their canvas is face and body. Their product emanates directly from the soul. An accomplished teacher or coach, in the first session with a new student, will usually inquire as to the results that person wants from the process. Invariably, whether the tutee is an actor, anchor, politician, etc., the tutor finds the reply bland as milquetoast. Usually along the lines of "I just want to be better." When pressed for particulars, many first-time clients have difficulty articulating a desired final product. Because the mercury of a communicator's barometer is visceral, his goals are seldom tangible, and the description of his needs is often psychological. Here are the top five responses I have heard over the years, when asking the first-time client what results he would like to gain from the sessions: "What I'm doing sometimes feels phony." "I would really like it to come more naturally." "I don't want to feel like I'm manufacturing the emotions." "I want to be myself and feel that what I have to offer is enough." "How can I be convincing about a subject I couldn't care less about?!" For most, it really boils down to three things. Professional communicators who take a vested interest in their craft want... To know that they are continually improving. To know that they hit the mark with some kind of consistency. To feel that they are in control. Simple. Not unlike Rubik's cube. You know there's a solution. You've seen it done. All it takes is focus, persistence and life-long commitment. Like I said, simple. Later, we will explore various tools and techniques master communicators have discovered and used to succeed and win on a consistent basis. But first, let's take a little quiz. If you are interested in becoming a better communicator, or just fascinated by the process, this series of questions should stimulate your curiosity and start you on the road to mastery. Don't over-analyze. Just select the best answer for each question.   THE QUIZ 1) "I never said I thought you were crazy." This sentence has a definite element of... humor. doubt. anger. all of the above. impossible to tell. 2) The most powerful element of communication is... visual. audible. emotional. sexual. text. 3) "I love you." This sentence can be verbalized how many different ways? Three Nine No more than 30 At least 50 4) Energy equals... liveliness, animation and vivacity. bigger, louder and faster. investment. MC2. 5) What percent of a person's communication comprehension is... _____ % Tonal _____ % Text _____ % Visual 6) Marie Curie... raised two daughters. raised a daughter who became an accomplished musician. raised a daughter who won a Nobel Prize. became the first person ever to win two Nobel Prizes. All of the above. a & d. 7) Who coined the phrase, "Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee!"? Dennis Rodman Mike Tyson Michael Jordan Muhammad Ali 8) History's milestones... are stamped with the speeches of fascinating communicators. weigh heavy on our country's leaders. always seem to "come in threes." are recorded by history's "winners." 9) Communicators are generally remembered for their... talent. body of work. quality. maxims. 10) Tertiary Core Characters are... the cast of "Baywatch." 1/3 of the Chinese language. the bulk of Master Communicators. personalities experienced over the course of a lifetime. 11) The brain retains concepts by... electrical processing. synapse activity. storing hard data. attaching pictures and emotions. 12) The eyes are... a good indicator of truth. the "windows to the soul." involuntary reactors. all of the above. 13) The audience/viewers are always effected by... the human condition. text. subtext. characterizations. 14) Intention is... a key element in learning. a key element when questioning authority. a key element in success. a & c. All of the above. 15) The "Stanislavski Three" represent... a Russian mime troupe. questions the actor should answer regarding his own existence. the owners of the Moscow Art Theatre. questions the actor should answer regarding a character's existence. 16) "Ceiling values" poses the questions... "How much?" and, "How pressing?" "Who?" "What?" "Where?" "When?" "How?" and, "Why?" "How bad?" and, "Who cares?" "How many lines do I have?" and, "How much in residuals will I make?" 17) In 1997, Troy Aikman took on a specialized coach for... his golf game. basic quarterback skills. ballet. line dancing. 18) Uncontrollable tail wagging in cats signifies... an overdose of catnip. acute conflict. a kittygasm. a feline with an attitude. 19) 82% of TV viewers think reporters are... the driving force of any newscast. their pipeline to the most immediate information. insensitive to people's pain. "wannabe" anchors. 20) It is possible to be unbiased and... give your opinion. be a great partner. be a national spokesman for a product. convey the human condition.   The best answers to these questions will reveal themselves as you make your way though this book. (Don't you just hate that?! If it's really going to drive you crazy, the answers can be found in Chapter 10.) I would suggest, however, that you discover the solutions gradually, as you read. Doing so will allow for a better understanding of the reasoning that supports each answer. It will also increase your retention and strengthen your ability to utilize the information. Besides, I dare you not to look ahead...   THE RATS, THE PACK and THE MASTERS Before learning the tools and techniques of great communication, it is important to know exactly what we are shooting for. The more you know about your destination, the better prepared you will be when you arrive. And, after all, it's rather difficult to hit a target unless you can clearly see it. So, to begin crystallizing our goals, let's start with what constitutes a remarkable communicator. Career communicators, those who are seemingly in it for the long haul, can be divided into three groups. I call these groups The Rats, The Pack and The Masters. THE RATS... are those faux-communicators who really don't belong in the business. They have no technique, no control and no real respect for the craft. They are not sure what they are doing, not sure how they got there and not sure where they are going. They are the ones who spawned the phrases, "wouldn't know the truth if it bit him in the face" and, "couldn't relate her way out of a paper bag." Unfortunately, the combination of bad TV, 'B' movies and cable access have given us a plethora of these personalities. They are the ones you watch with an incredulous expression as you think to yourself, "Is there no justice on this planet?!" Like rats on a ship, they are difficult to eradicate. Not much can be done to rectify the situation, except kick them away when they get too close. THE PACK... is the largest segment of communicators. They are a respectable lot and, for the most part, perform their craft adequately. And even though some may be at the front of The Pack in terms of success, and some at the rear, they all seem to be conscientious, have energy and are interesting to the average viewer. There is really nothing wrong with belonging to this group. Their product is accepted as the "norm" and they do seem to get their message across. That message, however, is often times mediocre. We've experienced it hundreds of times before with slight variations or degrees. And like the background music played in elevators and department stores, after a time, it all tends to sound the same.   Taking a look at the dictionary definition of "communicate"... Communicate: To make known; Impart. To have an interchange, as of thoughts or ideas. To be connected or form a connecting passage. ...we find that it fits The Pack because it is also adequate and pedestrian in nature. It really doesn't give you a feel for the subject. When I ponder communication, I think of that old Memorextm commercial where the opera singer hits such a high note that a wine glass bursts. The image serves to remind me that communication, especially the voice, is actually tangible. It has mass and the capability to impinge on another object or affect the listener. When you consider the implications of communication as a substantive instrument, the ability to control and utilize it effectively can be extremely powerful. In a world full of distractions, the fascinating communicator can command a person's or group's attention, manipulate emotions, even change the course of thoughts, views or ideas. And like splitting the atom, the force of communication can be used to create... or destroy. THE MASTERS... can then be characterized as those fascinating communicators who control and effectively use communication as a means to impart thoughts, ideas and/or feelings in such a way as to physically and/or emotionally move those receiving their message. Masters are not satisfied with the mundane job of delivering data, but constantly strive to find new ways of making their communication fresh, fervent and alive. The Master's ultimate goal is to constantly deliver communication that comes wrapped within the core quality of their being. Finding the best path that leads toward mastery requires a clear understanding of the final destination. To begin this process, it is important to realize how other successful communicators developed and honed their crafts. Not only the communicators that practice your particular area of interest and not just those in present time, but it is important to have an overview of the Masters throughout history. Dick Clark: For anyone wanting to begin a career as a communicator, I would say to watch all the people who do it, and do what the good ones do, and don't do what the bad ones do. Simple. Now that we have a general description of the master communicator, the next chapter will take a look at specific examples of a few past masters in order to solidify our own objectives for the future. How to Get It To purchase online, click here. Or, you may send a check or money order $19.95 plus $6.00 shipping to: Talent Dynamics 8828 Stemmons, Suite 510 Dallas, TX 75247 ~ ABOUT THE AUTHOR ~ Bill Cakmis is an accomplished director, writer, actor, consultant and teacher. He has trained, advised and developed professionals in all fields of the entertainment and broadcast news industries since 1980. As a writer, Bill's accomplishments include the award winning hit play "Circle of Will," the children's book The Secret of the Elves Elite (pub 10/01), and the multi-media educational program, Columbus: Discovery and Beyond. Bill has directed in over 30 Equity and Non-Equity theatres across the country. He received the Long Beach Playhouse Directing Award for "Best Play of the Season," has directed West Coast Premiers including Early One Evening at the Rainbow Bar and Grille, and directs musicals in the Dallas metro-plex such as The Sound of Music, The Wizard of Oz, and Peter Pan, raising funds for charitable organizations such as the United Way and Verizon's Arts for Literacy programs. As an actor, Bill has appeared in eight films, six episodics, four daytime serials and twenty stage productions. He is a member of the Screen Actor's Guild and American Federation of Television and Radio Artists. Bill's client list as a talent coach and consultant includes on-screen personalities, directors, producers, writers, athletes, news stations, production companies, networks and studios. He not only works privately but has conducted classes and seminars on interpersonal and group communications and intermediate and advanced level acting/directing classes in venues including the National Leadership Training Centers, The Beverly Hills Playhouse, The Actor's Studio, Jacksonville University, and KD Studios in Dallas. Bill is currently a senior talent consultant for the Media Advisors International family of companies including ASI Entertainment, Audience Research & Development and Talent Dynamics

©Copyright 2001